The Best Worst Voices

"I would like them if they had a different singer."
"I just can't get over that voice."
"The singer really bothers me for some reason."

We've all heard it before. People complaining about a voice that's just a little too [adjective]. People hate on weird voices in music. As someone who has a weird singing voice, I say enough! Critics be damned! Singers with weird voices are all over the place, and have made some of the most important contributions to the musical universe. There are many artists about whose voices I hear complaints on the regular. Here are ten of my favorite weird, unique, bizarre, and/or unpleasant voices.

10) Bob Dylan
What better place to start? Bob Dylan has never fooled anyone into believing he was a good singer, and his voice is constantly a turnoff to casual listeners. It's probably why covers of his songs have a habit of performing better than the original versions (Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton each performed loads of Dylan songs that became the go-to versions). And yet, Bob Dylan is one of the greatest artists in American history, and people the world over listen to his music religiously. I actually don't even need the rest of this list to prove why a weird voice doesn't keep you out of the realm of the successful, but I don't listen to Bob Dylan that much, so I thought I should still make it.

9) Lou Reed
Remember everything I just wrote about Bob Dylan? All of that carries over to Lou Reed except for the frequent Clapton and Hendrix covers. Also he was in a band called The Velvet Underground, which is neither made of velvet nor underground. Lou Reed has a wonderful horrible singing voice, and he's a great and influential artist. On the list.

8) Anthony Kiedis  (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Okay, this one is a little different. Anthony Kiedis is usually not criticized for his voice, but he is criticized for his singing ability. Or perceived lack thereof. For some reason people just do not believe he can really sing. I know he often doesn't really sing and kind of rap-talk-shouts instead, but come on. First of all, he absolutely can sing, and if you don't believe me, I dare you to perform "Can't Stop" or "The Zephyr Song" the way he does. Not as easy as it looks. Secondly, who the fuck cares? Anthony Kiedis is one of rock's great vocalists, and even if you don't like his brand of talk-song, you can't hate on the dude for doing what works.

7) Joni Mitchell
Joni Mitchell has a shockingly, unsettlingly, uniquely high voice. There are people who, for some weird reason, don't enjoy that. I can't really figure it out. Actually I totally can, it's a bit much. But I invite all of those people to get past their fear of heights (like high pitches, get it?) and listen to her sing. Really listen. And then tell me she isn't one of the best singers around. Listen to "California" because it's one of my favorite songs ever, and because she does things with her voice that I didn't even know were possible. Joni Mitchell is like, really great. If you can't stand her voice, you're just missing out.

6) Justin Vernon (Bon Iver)
Justin Vernon of Bon Iver (which is a band, not a person, please see my recent post for details on this breaking story) often sounds less like a person and more like an embattled owl singing a lullaby. His unclear mumbling is the butt of many a joke, and no argument, it's frequently impossible to know what he's saying, or if he's even using words. But his voice is the perfect frosting on the cake that is Bon Iver's music. They make big, orchestral, sweeping songs that flow between one another in long albums. They are majestic works of art, and the vocals come shining through as if sung by angels and butterflies. Vernon's voice would be ill-suited to literally any other kind of music, but I can't imagine a better fit for Bon Iver.

5) Stevie Nicks
Stevie Nicks (you know, from Fleetwood Mac and stuff) has a low, raspy, abrasive kind of voice that, in an alternate universe, could probably be used to frighten children into eating asparagus. But instead we're in this universe, where it's used to make wonderful music. I love Stevie Nicks. A lot. I have heard people complain about the flat and atonal nature of her voice, as well as about her perceived lack of vocal ability. If you're in either of these camps, or if you're on the fence, listen to Fleetwood Mac's 1975 studio recording of "Rhiannon." The chorus will send chills down your spine. Stevie Nicks is a total rockstar, and her voice, cracked and worn as it may be, is a testament to her musical drive and rock and roll attitude.

4) James Taylor
Okay, I didn't even know people were complaining about James Taylor until recently. And it shocked me because James Taylor is one of the greatest artists in American history, and his voice is quite inoffensive. Nonetheless, some people just don't dig it, I guess. I will never agree, but I suppose I can see where those people are coming from: he does have a very unique voice (I always know when James Taylor comes on the radio, even when I don't know the song), and uniqueness is often synonymous with irritating for listeners. If you're looking to be convinced, first listen to his heart-melting rendition of Carole King's "You've Got A Friend," (1971) then try a couple newer songs (I really like "Line 'Em Up" from 1997's Hourglass). If those don't change your mind, it may be a lost cause. But either way, there's no denying that JT is a prolific and influential musician and singer, and his unique voice is ideal for his music.

3) Billy Corgan (The Smashing Pumpkins)
Billy Corgan has probably faced more criticism for his voice than any other modern musician. Seriously, there are no people who hear The Pumpkins and don't go "man, that voice is crazy." And that's because it is crazy. CRAZY AMAZING. Man, I don't even know what the world would be if Billy Corgan's voice wasn't a part of mainstream music. But it would be horrible. The Smashing Pumpkins are one of the great bands of the late-20th century (and 21st century, who am I kidding? Oceania embraced my soul with rock). Billy Corgan's tinny, thin, whiny squeak of a voice is so well suited to the music he writes and performs that it's kind of hard to believe. The dude has a bizarre and unsettling voice, and I love it.

(I'm not kidding about Oceania, if you haven't heard it yet, go now. That will be the next review I write, I'm just finishing a few of these fun posts first.)


2) Geddy Lee (Rush) 
RUSH ARE THE GREATEST BAND OF ALL TIME.

Sorry, was that out loud? What I meant to say is that Rush are an amazing band that plays with unbelievable musicianship and intellect. They are true artists. Geddy Lee is one of the best bassists alive. He's also an awesome singer. Weird voice? You betcha. It's way up there, in a higher register than many people can even imagine (especially in the really early Rush recordings). But I'll be damned if he doesn't hit every note nearly perfectly, and he does it while playing a bass and a synth and another synth and some weird pedal shit also. Again, it's a voice that truly compliments its accompaniment. Rush would not be Rush without the piercing and glorious vocal melodies purveyed by Mr. Lee. Geddy Lee is one of the best musicians alive, and his voice is one of his finest assets.

1) Eric Clapton
Wait, what?

Yes, you read it right. If you're confused, it's probably because you, like me and so many other people, were not aware that Eric Clapton had a weird voice. BUT APPARENTLY HE DOES. Eric Clapton is my favorite guitar player, and I listen to his music basically on loop. So to hear that some people didn't like his voice was quite upsetting. But I understand it. Particularly in his younger years, his voice is high and poorly trained, and often sounds off-key or just awkward. He himself didn't like his voice, and did not sing the songs he learned as a budding blues guitarist because he didn't feel his his voice could appropriately capture the low-down, murky, smoky glory of the blues. It wasn't until really the Cream years that he began to sing regularly. And despite his voice being a little shaky (and in the early going, more than a little intoxicated), I sure am glad he did. Eric Clapton is one of the most iconic rock musicians in history. Imagine where he'd be if he never sang?

Yikes.

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Alrighty, that's it. Those are my ten favorite bad/annoying/weird voices. If you disagree, have other suggestions, or generally have a comment, leave it below! I'm always glad for feedback and audience participation!